Keg Party
by ArtistKurai
Summary: Sasha steals some booze from Shadis and makes Reiner and Jean sneak it back to the barracks. Shenanigans happen when Reiner convinces Jean to "sample" the goods. Written for OtakuShuichi.


Disclaimer: I don't own SnK or any of the characters used in this story. I'm not good enough to own them *cries*

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"Hey, guys," whispered Sasha Braus conspiratorially once Commander Shadis's back was turned. Several pairs of eyes turned to the brunette glutton. "Check what I snagged from Shadis's liquor cabinet!" Tucked into the girl's uniform jacket were two tall bottles of whiskey. "You guys wanna party tonight?" 

"Heck yeah, we do!" Connie Springer said excitedly and just as softly. 

"I won't even ask how you got that from Shadis," said Reiner Braun with a proud smirk on his handsome face. "Berturtle and I are totally in." Next to him, Bertholt Fubar just shrugged his shoulders. He knew Reiner would drag him along whether he wanted to join the fun or not. 

"You know I'm in," said Jean Kirstein. "What about you, Marco?" The sandy-haired Frenchman turned to his freckled best friend. 

"I don't see why not," said Marco Bodt with an innocent shrug. "I'm sure it'll be fun with everyone joining in." 

"That's the spirit!" said Eren Jeager. "Definitely count us in!" He put his arms around his sister, Mikasa Akerman, and his best friend, Armin Arlert. They, however didn't seem to share in their friend's excitement. Armin seemed a little nervous, and Mikasa's expression was impassive as ever. 

"We'll sneak over tonight after lights out," said Sasha, talking about herself and the other girl. "Hide it in your bunk for now." Making sure the higher-ups weren't watching, the brunette passed the bottles over to Jean and Reiner. 

With the bottles in hand, the two blonds were now at a loss as to how they were going to sneak the booze back to the boys' barracks. As they pondered, Reiner looked over towards the mess hall. "I've got an idea." He snuck towards the building with Jean following close behind. 

"Reiner, what are we doing?" he hissed. A spark of fear jolted him when the door squeaked on its hinges, but their actions went unnoticed. 

Without an explanation, Reiner grabbed random pieces of leftover food and a bottle of water. "Stuff a couple of these in your mouth." 

"Wha-mph?!" Before Jean could finish the question, a piece of bread and a bite of carrot had been shoved into his mouth. 

"Just eat it, Horse! Chew it up some, but don't swallow it," instructed Reiner before shoving food into his own mouth. "Take a swig." He handed the water to Jean, who was still confused. "Don't swallow it. Just spit it out on my signal. We're gonna get sent back to the barracks." 

Understanding washed over the French boy, and he followed his friend's instructions. Minutes later, they were back in line waiting for the morning's training to begin. "Alright, you snot-faced, simpering wimps! You get your rows straight, or I'll break my foot off in every one of your back sides!" Instantly, the rows of cadets straightened to perfection. While Shadis's back was turned, Reiner locked eyes with Jean and nodded once. "Now, I want all of you-" 

"Blurgh!" sounded through the cadets suddenly, interrupting the commander's rant. Turning back around, Shadis found two of the cadets huddled on the ground, a pile of mush lying beneath them. 

"What's going on here?" the commander demanded harshly. His answer was another round of purging and dry heaves. "You two get out of here," the older man ordered. "We don't need you getting everyone else here as sick as you are." As the boys struggled to get to their feet, a victorious smirk played on Reiner's lips. A few more strangled noises erupted from the boys as they stumbled away from line up and back to their barracks. 

Once they were safely back in the boys' barracks, the fakers let out an amused and victorious laugh. "Oh my gosh! I can't believe that worked!" shouted Jean with a whoop. 

"Didn't I tell you to trust me?" said Reiner smugly. He and Jean took the bottles out of their jackets. Peering at the amber-brown bottle, the taller blond got an idea. "How about we sample a little bit?" 

"What?" asked the French cadet. "No way, that's for tonight." 

"Oh, come on," Reiner scoffed. "Nobody's gonna care if we just taste a little bit. I bet they wouldn't even notice." Jean pondered warily. Should they? Would anyone really care if they took a few pre-party sips? He looked back up at the blond boy next to him, who just gave him a smirk. "Let's do it." Pulling out a knife, Reiner worked the corks out of the bottle necks before passing one of them to Jean. "Alright, drink up!" 

Jean took a tentative sip of the strong liquor while Reiner guzzled a big gulp. "Whoa! That's strong," Jean coughed, the drink burning his throat as it went down. 

"I know, right?" laughed Reiner, the burning liquid not affecting him. "There's nothing like it!" More sips and swallows followed the first, a buzz beginning to cloud the boys' minds. "You know, Rei," Jean's voice slurred just a little, "this is the first time I've had alcohol." 

"Really?" asked Reiner. His words were very slurred. "I been drinkin' since I was ten! Or was it eleven?" 

"That's a long time." Jean felt a little in awe of his light-haired friend. "By the way, how old are you again?" 

"Last time I checked, I think I was about, uhm, 25? Or am I 12?" Reiner paused midsip to look up in the general direction of the ceiling, trying to remember his exact age. "Yeah, I can't remember right now." 

Another swig of booze ran down Jean's throat. "You know, one time I forgot my birthday." 

"I've done that before too," said Reiner. "When you've had as many birthdays as I've had, you sometimes start to forget." 

"That's really deep," mumbled Jean. He fell back against the wall and slid down to sit on the floor. "I don't think I've had all that many birthdays." 

Reiner sat down beside his friend and put an understanding hand on his shoulder. "It's alright, man," he said. "We'll give you many, many more birthdays. You can count on that." 

Tears began to well in Jean's eyes. "Thank you," he sobbed. As he cried, he leaned into Reiner, who wrapped his arms around the crying cadet. 

"It's okay, Jean. I understand." Reiner just sat quietly as Jean cried his woes into his shoulder. He really didn't mind. It was his job as a soldier and a friend to give comfort to those in need of it. "You know what, Jean?" 

"What?" Jean replied between sniffles. 

"We're gonna give you a birthday party! Right now!" Grabbing his momentarily forgotten bottle of alcohol, Reiner lifted it in a toast. "To Jean! May he have as many birthdays as I've had, and a lot more than that!" Jean clinked his bottle against Reiner's, and they both took a drink. "Happy birthday, Jean!" 

"Happy birthday, Jean!" the drunk cadet repeated. And so the two continued to celebrate Jean's impromptu birthday, completely forgetting the real reason they had initially snuck away to the barracks. 

Later that evening, the group of cadets made their way from the mess hall towards the barracks for their secret party. "That was a great plan Jean and Reiner came up with to get out of training," said Connie. "I wonder how they made themselves sick like that." 

"Oh, that's easy," said Eren as he picked his teeth. "They took a few bites of random pieces of food, mixed it with a little water, then pretended to throw it up. I've done it before to get out of chores." 

"It's true," mumbled Armin nervously. "I've seen him do it. He even got me to do it once. I was sure we would get into trouble." 

"Well now it's time to party!" shouted Connie. He was then jumped on by Eren and shushed by the others. 

"Dude, do you want to get caught?" Eren whisper-yelled at his shorter friend. "Come on, let's just get on over to the girls' barracks." With Marco, Bertholt, and Connie standing as lookouts, Armin and Eren were able to sneak to the window to the girls' barracks. "Mikasa, Sasha," Eren called quietly. 

"Hey, Eren," said Sasha. "You guys ready to go?" 

"Yeah, come on out." The two girls climbed out of the window with the help of their friends outside. The boys were surprised to see Ymir and Krista following, but they figured the more, the merrier. 

Upon nearing the boys' barracks, the group of teenagers realized they could hear voices coming from inside. "What is that?" asked Connie. Everyone paused to listen and, sure enough, muffled yet happy voices rang out on the night air. 

"It's probably Reiner and Jean," said Eren. 

"They did get the whole day off for being 'sick,'" said Sasha. "That was genius, by the way." 

"I bet it was Reiner's idea," said Eren. "Jean could never come up with something that smart." 

"I'm sure he could if he thought about it enough," said Marco optimistically. Everyone just shook their heads at their friend's innocence and went inside. What they saw was not what they expected. 

"Happy birthday to yooooooooou!" Reiner shouted drunkenly at the top of his lungs. He had his arm slung over Jean's shoulders and was hugging him loosely. 

"Ha-happy birt-day toooooo yoooou!" Jean sang along into his friend's shoulder. Neither cadet could keep in time with each other, nor could they stay in tune. They were lucky to get the words out at all. 

Their friends just stood speechless before Armin was able to gather enough of himself to speak. "Jean? Reiner?" he asked tentatively. "Are you guys okay?" 

"Oh yeah," Reiner slurred happily. "We're just giving Jean 'ere a birthday party since he can't 'memb'r when his is." Dumbfounded faces were the response Reiner got, though he didn't notice them as he and Jean continued their celebrating. "Come't think about it, I don' remember when my birthday is." 

"Let's c-celebray yours too, then!" Jean suggested happily to his drunk friend, receiving a cheer of agreement, and they started their song anew. 

"Well, there goes our night," Sasha grumbled. Growls and noises of agreement sounded after from the rest of the sober cadets. 

"Reiner," Bertholt mumbled and shook his head, "no." 

Owari

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Read and review please! Arigatou!


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